#‎EBmum‬ ‪#‎lettertomyself‬
Almost three years ago, I was told that my almost 3-year-old princess had an incurable, untreatable, skin disease. If I could go back, what would I tell myself?
The next ten weeks will be the worst of your life so far. You won’t understand how you’ll keep going, how you’ll ever smile again, how you’ll ever live a normal life again. Your life will forever be divided into before EJ and after.
You will be hurt terribly, seeing your baby girl in pain. You’ll sometimes hide it because most people won’t know how to deal with it. A lot of people, friends and family will try to make you feel better, but you know they often can't.
But it will be easier! You will accept your faith, more quickly than expected, the frustration will fade away, the pain won't go away but it won't be there all the time, the fear of 'not knowing' will not keep you up at night anymore... But the most important: "you will manage it!"
At the same time you’ll fight with everything you have to get proper care, to find a treatment for this horrible disease.
But you will never again be the person you were before. You will become a much better person. At first you will be thinking a lot about how it was before and then you’ll start to be thankful for who you’ve become.
You will become stronger then you ever thought you could be, you will stop wasting time on things that don't matter, you will have new priorities...
In the beginning you will do it, because you don't have a choice, but you will get stronger, the smile on your princess' face will make it ok! You will appreciate everything, random acts of kindness, kind words from complete strangers... You will be more conscious about the people who care, family, friends , acquaintances who become companions.
You will be more creative than ever before, you will find suitable solutions to the everyday problems.
It will take time, but you will see that love and laughter are the best medicine.
But the best of all, you will be loved and will love, like never before, you and your daughter will be a winning team, and despite the pain, the frustrations, the hopeless quest to find a cure, you will realize that this was the best thing that could have happened to you!!